Reflections from my heart

Its quiet here - in the house we are staying in particular and in Spain in general.  This is such a quiet culture compared to America.  Will definitely take some getting used to.  But the quiet has given me time to reflect this morning - first in the still, dark morning with Jesus and then with Alex over breakfast.  So much lays on my heart today, so perhaps I'll share just a little.

• God is faithful and gracious beyond measure.  I know that sounds like a "well, duh" comment, yet I realize that I don't always believe it.  Oh, I say it and act like it at times, but I don't always believe it to the depths of my heart.  If I did, I wouldn't be anxious and fret over things,  I'd truly trust Him.  I pray that over the coming days and years I will keep my eyes and heart on God and truly learn to trust Him before the doubts and anxiety come. 
• I have lived a privileged life.  Yes, I have never been hungry or without shelter or even entertainment, but I don't mean in that way.  I grew up in a Christian home and I have never experienced the true hopelessness that comes from not knowing the creator of our universe.  I am meeting people here who have never heard that Christ died for a relationship with them.  They don't know what hope and life really look like.  I have taken this for granted for way too long.  We drove through a town the size of Kernersville that has no evangelical presence.  No light.  No hope.  How can that be in a country that has been around since before the time of Christ?  A country where Paul walked?
• Coming home is going to be hard.  I was not prepared for this emotion.  I thought after ten days of being in a country where I understood no language and living with strangers I would be longing for home.  Yes, we miss family and friends from home and look forward to reuniting with them.  But, God has taken a piece of my heart and planted it here already.  That piece will remain here until we return.  We desire to be right smack in the middle of God's plan -including his time frame for returning, but we pray that He does not tarry.  Goodbye on Thursday is going to be much more difficult than I ever expected.
• I cannot fathom the way God loves my children.  I try to protect them and keep them from harm, even in decisions to follow God's calling, yet He loves them more than I do and knows what they need and is faithful beyond my wildest imagination to care for them in ways greater than I even know they need.  I need to constantly remember this.  I may fail as a parent at times, but He never does.

Sorry, no pictures today.  It's still early morning for Spaniards so we are not out and about yet.  In a while we are headed to an open air market and then will be going to lunch in Alcala and off to a Spanish mall.  Finally, tonight we will lay our heads back where we started the trip.  Only two more nights here.  Pray for us as we begin to close the door on this trip and prepare for our return.  Pray we keep our eyes on Him - the perfecter of everything.