Zach - will he still have a home?

This whole college parenting thing needs a manual. How do you continue to parent someone who is really an adult (or at least in their mind) who for most of the year makes their own decisions, doesn't check in with you, and lives on his own until...he needs money, laundry done, a home cooked, meal or a bed to rest his head in that is closer to his girl friend than college? Every trip home he makes is a learning experience for us both. And now, we want to take away his home.

In some ways this decision was made in a vacuum, a vaccuum that no longer included our oldest son who is away at college. This decision would impact him, but he no longer really had a part in the decision. I am beginning to understand why Jesus said in Matthew 10:37 "Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me." If I love Zach more than I love God I will not be willing to be obedient completely. There will always be strings and buts. Oh how I do love Zach, but my prayer is that how he sees his parents being obedient will teach him to be obedient to whatever God calls him to do.

We decided to share the decision with Zach when he came home for college and that Scott would take him away from the home and talk with him. I just prayed and let go. They left and came back and all seemed the same as before they left. Scott said it went fine and Zach's only reaction was that he was glad we waited until he had moved out (whew! isn't God's timing perfect?). In a man's world, that was enough description of the conversation, in a woman's world, I needed word by word account. So now how to pry without prying?

Even God took care of that. Zach opened the conversation with the fact that he had been considering applying for a job at college this coming summer that would keep him there for 8 weeks. Remember, he made that decision before he knew we were praying to leave and in our time schedule we would leave in late summer. Then in another conversation he shared that he had applied to two different army programs for the summer of 2010 and he wouldn't be home that summer at all (he is at college on an ROTC scholarship). God is good!

He is still trying to figure out how all this impacts him. As we pack things up to sell and give away (we are downsizing our life now, regardless of the decision the IMB reaches) he is caught. He isn't leaving, but his home is. He wants to keep things, we are getting rid. He had a good conversation with his grandparents (Cindy's parents) and they assured him that he always had a home there. Those who know here in Greensboro have already promised him a bed anytime. God will take care of him.

Pray for him as he figures out how he fits into this whole picture. He says he is is a "short term missionary at heart" and this works great for that. Pray for us as parents as we try to parent him as a college student who we will leave behind. Pray for our hearts as we commit to loving God more than anything, or anyone.

On a side note, he is on a full scholarship, but because of an illness that occuppied the majority of the semester, his scholarship is in jeopardy. He must pass the ROTC PT test by December 12th. He will have an opportunity on December 5th. Pray for the physical strength and endurance to pass. Pray for his determination to keep doing what he needs to do. Pray for us as parents to let go and let him make his own way. I'll keep you posted.