The To Do Lists

The focus of this journey can so easily become about the process instead of the call.  I know that the process is necessary and I do appreciate that the IMB is so meticulous in its screening of candidates, but at the same time I want to just yell "let me go!"  Of course, I must also say that I recommend not doing the process at the Christmas season.  How crazy is it to try to prepare a house to sell at Christmas?

One of the first decisions we had to make was that we were more in love with our God than our stuff.  For the most part we have let go of our stuff, but there are still occasionally those things that we thought we would have forever that bring tears.  Sometimes there are even outright full crying fits, especially when it comes to our carpet - the object of the majority of my tears.  I asked for carpet for 5 years and finally got it - just so that I can give it away.  We had to replace the carpet to prepare the house to sell.  I know, crazy, but the process does crazy things to you.

The forms and required information are overwhelming.  There are 5 health questionnaires, 2 educational reviews, 2 MMPIs, 5 dental forms, and an interview looming in the future.  Hours every night to try to gather it.  And just exactly where do you go to find an immunization record for a 45 year old man who was born in Egypt and then moved to NC at age 1?  Again, I know it is necessary - but why can't it just go faster?

And of course the house is for sale.  We got 15 minutes notice last Saturday that it was going to be shown and I of course had four loads of laundry on the floor and Christmas baking covering the kitchen.  We ran like madmen around only to find it was just a realtor previewing it or a family who is moving here in the spring and it was have been OK to just straighten up the kitchen and not ruin a batch of goodies.  Because the economy is so slow right now we have given the realtor permission to show the house at any time, even if they can't get in touch with us so it has to be in showing condition every time we walk out the door.  My prayer is that the house sell soon.  

The process also changes how you look at things around you.  I know God requires of to be faithful to the end of one journey, even as he is moving us to a new path, but it is hard.  There is so much excitement and to do lists that it is difficult to not "check out" of this life.  My frustration with my coworkers is at top level and at times I just want to walk out today.  Christmas is in a week and I'd be ok to just skip the things and spend time with family.  But Christmas is still going on for others. For example, we had dirty Santa at the staff party.  It was hard to be excited about any of the things knowing that hopefully in a few months we will be doing away with things.  But it is also an emotional roller coaster, because although I didn't want any of the stuff, I really wanted a musical duck.  (and my dear friends made sure I got one later)  So I cried over bringing home "junk" and cried about not bringing home "junk."  What a roller coaster!

What have I learned from all this?  Follow Jesus.  Sounds simple, but it surely isn't.  First lesson I have learned in regards to following Jesus is be sure you are following Jesus and not man.  Every person's journey is going to be different.  I must be sure that I am first listening to Christ and his commands and filtering others advice through what he is saying to me.  I am not saying do not listen to the wisdom of others, but also be sure that I am first hearing from God.

Second, follow Christ's example.  At the Garden of Gethsemane Jesus chose to get away from the disciples and spend time alone with God.  He left the busyness and the people to spend time just with God.  If it was necessary for Jesus, how much more necessary it is for me?  I am a people person and would spend every moment with crowds if possible, but it isn't good for me.  I must remember through this whole process to stop and spend time alone, not just my quiet time, but more.  How can I truly follow Jesus if I don't stop to hear him?

I would pray that the process would end quickly, but the journey is worth the struggles.  Oh how I yearn to be found faithful on this journey, even in the process of "to do lists."