A Day of Interviews

After a good night's sleep, today was a little less stressful.  I awoke with no headache, but we did oversleep a little - I forgot to set the alarm.  So breakfast was grabbed on the run, but worth the trade off for a little extra sleep. 

Our morning started with a continuation of our discussions on Spiritual Disciplines.  Today's discipline was quiet times.  Powerful.  A veteran missionary shared his time schedule - 1 hour /day with God, 1 day/month with God, and 1 week/year with God.  It is so easy to get wrapped up in the business of doing God's work we forget to get wrapped up in God.  I know when I became a staff member of a church how easy it was for that to happen, I imagine it will be even easier on the mission field.  May God find both of us faithful in staying wrapped up in Him instead of the work.

Today was a little more relaxed as we were all on different schedules.  We had a "paperwork interview" with personnel.  She went over all our evaluations and recommendations regarding our future along with giving us more paperwork to do.  All was positive in that interview.  We then each had a psychological evaluation and we were both found to be "normal."  Boy is that a subjective term! 

In between the interviews we squeezed in a telephone radio interview for an upcoming episode.

We managed a nap, checked in with the kids and the office, and ended the evening at Starbucks with some fellow candidates and learned to play Monopoly Deal (a card game version of Monopoly). 

Tomorrow we will sit through classes and Friday morning we have our final interview.  Friday afternoon we get our final answer - appointed or not.  We are actually beginning to see the mission field as a reality and we have to stop and take a deep breath every now and then, but it is good. 

Update on the house - it is still ours - no sell to today's lookers - but God is in control.  Keep praying.

Serious Missionary Training                    

(Steve on the left is headed to Ukraine and David on the right is headed to Japan)

Starbucks Crew             

(Janelle and Jenelle, Scott, and Bob and Sarah - who are headed to Alaska)                                     

We all share in Clean Up Duty

A Humbling Experience

Well, today was the Bible Knowledge Test.  I woke up at 4 AM with a sinus headache that was quickly heading in to a migraine.  I left the "hotel" and went in search of a drug store to get some medicine before breakfast.  I grabbed my book bag that I have been carrying around all week and arrived without getting lost, only to realize I didn't have my wallet.  So I drove back to the "hotel" and got my wallet and heading back to CVS.  I was pushing getting back to the campus in time for devotions.  Today's topic was the beginning of a series on Spiritual Disciplines.  It was good (I'll share the survey later - everyone ought to do it).  So with a headache and hurried morning, the first thing on the agenda today was The Bible Knowledge Assessment.  I have been in church my entire life.  I have been to seminary.  I serve on a church staff.  I should sail through this test with flying colors - right?  Instead I open the test and after the first section (name the books of the New Testament in order) and realize I am in trouble.  It was bad.  There were 250 questions.  The sections included 1) put biblical events in chronological order, 2) identify theological terms, 3) Name the book and chapter where events happened (both old and new testament), 4) Who said a list of quotes, and 5) scripture memory.  By the 4th section I was in tears.  Stress was at it's fullest.  My headache wasn't easing off and I had no clue the answers to the majority of the questions. 

I was humbled.  I was embarrassed.  I was astonished at my little knowledge.  I turned the test in and just lost it.  I just sat and cried and couldn't really tell you why.  Probably just one of those female things. 

So, now that I am beyond the emotions of the morning and my head feels better I sit back and look at what am I going to do with the knowledge.  I am going to memorize more scripture - regardless of how old I am!  I am going to pull out my Walk Through the Bible stuff and I am going to know my Bible more.  I am going to look at what I am teaching the children at church.  Can you use your Bible?  Do you really know what it says?  If you were given these 250 questions how would you respond? 

I have been brought to my knees today - asking for forgiveness for not investing in a commitment to really know the Bible, asking for a reminder that God has called us to this journey, and asking for the help to really get to know the Bible.  One more exciting challenge in the journey.

Later in the day we had our evangelism assessment and I found that fun.  I used the wordless book and got to "lead" a fellow candidate to Christ.  Then tonight we all had to share our salvation testimonies and the beginning of how we were called to missions.  There are 9 of us with 9 distinct testimonies.  Each was such a reminder of what a great God we serve.

We are tired - emotionally and physically, but in a good way.  We are calling it quits early tonight and look forward to a new day tomorrow.  Our schedule tomorrow includes our paperwork interview (meeting with the personnel director to go over all our paperwork, prepare for our personnel team interview, look at our evaluation scores, and see what we are missing) and we each have a psychological evaluation.  In the middle of it we are recording a segment for the radio show that we participate in Siloam Missionary Homes.  Another full day, but tomorrow night we will have a fun evening with the team.

On the home front - continue to pray for the kids as they are home.  Pray for Amber Lovelace as she is serving as surrogate mom.  The house is being shown tomorrow so keep that in your prayers too. 

Thank you for joining us on this journey.  I cannot think of anywhere else I want to be.

We Passed the Language Test!

Today has been filled with tests and training.  The most exciting part was that we both passed the Language Aptitude Test.  It was a crazy test - they basically taught us a little of kurdish in a few minutes and then tested us on what we had just learned.  But we both passed.  It has been a long day, but a good one.  We are getting to know our candidates and laughing and sharing a lot.  Tonight we are all trying to cram as much memory work as possible into our brains as tomorrow is a 250 question on Bible knowledge.  We know that we have to name the books of the New Testament and that we will be given 5 scripture references that we have to quote (but we don't know the references).  There will be one essay question and the rest will be multiple choice and matching.  It is kind of scary to think all that I have been taught will be on the line tomorrow.  If you think of it, pray for us at 9:00 as we take this test.

Below are some pictures of our adventure so far.

Our visit with the Fikes

Our cookes - Jan & Mindy

Scott studying for Bible Knowledge Test

Janelle (who is going to Spain with us) &

Jenelle studying the Romans Road

Introductions

We have arrived at the headquarters of SEND International and we keep looking at each other and asking if we are ready for what is ahead.  It is definitely kind of surreal feeling here.  We have prayed and planned and looked forward to this journey moving ahead for more than a year and now it is hard to believe we are taking some big steps in the journey.

There are 10 candidates here.  They (or should it be we) are heading all over the world - Kosovo, Ukraine, Alaska, Japan, and Spain.  We are almost (note the almost) the oldest candidates here.  One other family unit has kids and we are a lot alike.  They are leaving one here in the continental states (they are headed to Alaska) and taking a 16 year old with them.  They are two single ladies going - one will be with us in Spain.  There is a newlywed couple and a couple that will be married shortly.  We just began to hear each other's stories tonight.  Some had short spiritual journeys to this point in their lives; others have been on this journey for a long time.  Some traveled a long ways (newlyweds are from California now, but she is originally from Japan) while others are just a few hours away.  We will have made some dear friends by the time we leave. 

Tomorrow the real work begins.  Each morning we begin with devotions and worship.  Tomorrow we will have to complete the MMPI - a psychological evaluation tool - and our Language Aptitude Test (evaluates how easily we will learn a foreign language) and I think our Bible Knowledge Test is tomorrow too.  There will be teaching throughout the day too.  The days are full, but the evenings or for homework, reflection, and getting to know the others.

We had a great visit in Adrian and I'll try to include pictures in tomorrow's post.  I am always amazed and overwhelmed as I have opportunities to reunite with friends from years ago.  I go to high school reunions with people that I haven't seen in 10 years and we can't find anything to discuss.  I meet with friends who share a common faith in Jesus Christ and even after 10 years of no contact we can talk through the night.  God truly is about relationship!  He not only wants us to have a genuine relationship with Him, He wants us to have relationships with fellow believers.  How boring life would be without these relationships.

It is strange to be here without the kids - but they are in good hands with my parents and seem to be having a great time.  Keep them in your prayers as they process the fact that we are in Michigan and will return home one step closer to leaving for Spain.

Sleep good and we'll "chat" again tomorrow.

Michigan Bound

This is Scott posting.  We hit the road at about 4:30 Friday night and had a smooth start to the trip.  We had a restful nights sleep in Charleston, WV.

This morning we are getting ready to head out to Adrian, MI.  We are going to spend the night with old friends (Mike and Lisa!) from when we lived in Michigan.  Tomorrow we are going to go to church at Ogden Community Church and we will get to see more old friends.

I sometimes marvel at how God has arranged the circumstances of our lives in order to prepare us for this journey.  Cindy and I have lived in places we weren't familiar with (SC and MI seemed like foreign countries to our unsophisticated eyes.), learned languages that were different and hung out with people who were from other countries.  We have lived away from family and friends.  We have had to deal with people having different ways of speaking, different ways of doing things and different standards.  We have dealt with trying to fit in and still remaining ourselves.  I say these things not for sympathy or admiration but to say "My God is great!"  He provided all these small challenges (though they didn't seem small at the time.) in order that we could be ready for the idea of going to Spain as missionaries.

I resisted the idea of going to seminary for a long time because I knew I wasn't capable of writing the papers that would be required.  I never was very good at writing.  Liberal arts type people just don't appreciate the scientific style.  Little did I know that God had taken care of all of that.  We found out that in order to go to the mission field I would be required to have a seminary degree so I gave in and gave it a try.  Well, imagine that... God takes care of everything.  It turns out I can write papers (with the help of an excellent editor...thanks dear!)  and God has provided everything I need in order to be successful at seminary.

Again, I say all this to say that God takes care of us.  I don't know exactly what you are going through right now.  I didn't know where I was headed when I was going through everything either.  Be encouraged that there is always a reason for the trials in our paths.  Pray hard, keep your head up and persevere.  God knows why you are in the circumstances that surround you and He always has a plan which is bigger than what you can see right in front of you.

James 5:11 As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.

House Is Being Shown

Isn't it great when God just flows all His blessings down on us?!  Suitcases are packed and paperwork is finished and we are ready to leave when Scott gets off work, but that wasn't enough for God.  He wanted to remind us that He hears our every prayer.  The house is being shown this afternoon (and the buyer was even flexible with my schedule) AND we sold the weight bench for the amount we were asking for and it is being picked up today too!  I just LOVE God!

Our Itenerary

Several have asked what our schedule is so I will fill in a few blanks now and more to come in the future.

Today, January 15 - assuming I ever pack - we will leave Greensboro around 5:30 and travel to Charleston, WV - about 4 hours.

Saturday, January 16 - we will travel to Adrian, Michigan (where we lived about 12 years ago) to visit with friends.  We will be staying with Mike and Lisa Fike and cannot wait to see them!

Sunday, January 17  - we will travel to SEND International headquarters in Farmington, Michigan - about 1 1/2 hours.  We need to arrive in Farmington between 3 and 5 in the afternoon.  Sunday night will be dinner and orientation.

Monday, January 18 - Friday, January 29- we will be attending Candidate Orientation Program (COP).  COP is a time to equip and encourage the candidates for the missionary journey and in the start of a lifelong process of partner development.  The two weeks will be filled with interviews, evaluations, testimonies, testing, and more.  The days are packed! 

Friday, January 29  - we will drive a few hours towards home.

Saturday, January 30 -  we will complete the drive.  The total drive from Farmington to home is about 13 hours.

Thanks for your prayer and support as we continue on the journey.  Feel free to leave comments along the way - your words of encouragement and support mean the world to us.

Tomorrow is Coming Fast

We leave tomorrow - not a single piece of clothing is in a suitcase and there is a smell coming out of the refrigerator and I marked one thing off my to do list last night and added five.  Perhaps it is time to get busy!

I got to share last night with three little Mission Friend (our Wednesday night program at church for preschoolers that focuses on missions) boys last night about our trip to Michigan and about why missionaries are needed in Spain (it happens to be the country they are studying this month).  It was so much fun - but more than that it was motivating.  To watch their eyes as they heard about how lost the people of Spain are reminded me why we were supposed to be packing.  Their questions were so innocent.  Their hearts were right.  Even the teachers learned a few things they did not know about Spain and the scarcity of Christians there. 

I realized last night one big thing - I cannot wait to be officially appointed as a missionary headed to Spain.  I have fallen in love with the people of Spain and have never been there.  I am following the blogs of several future team mates and I can't wait to meet them face to face.  I cannot wait to learn the language and begin to make new friends.  I cannot wait!

Perhaps this excitement will propel me toward the suitcase on the shelf in the closet...

Two Days and Counting...

Fifteen months ago we said "yes God."  We said it with an exclamation mark behind it, a question mark at the end, a comma after it, and many times that week we even just said "God."  We knew without a doubt we were surrendering everything in us, about us and around us for God's greater plan.  We believed wholeheartedly God was calling us to be international missionaries.  We knew we were beginning a new phase of our Christian journey and had no idea where it would take us.

The journey took turns and curves and ups and downs and fast forwards and rewinds.  There were even some times of bumpy roads and huge holes.  At times the journey was straight and smooth.  But throughout the entire journey - we have known that God is there.  That we were walking with God and following Him. 

We have felt the pain of holding on and the pain of surrendering (and know that there is a lot more of this to come).  We continue to learn about God's timing and how when done in His perfect way things work out so much better.  We have experienced the excitement of seeing pieces of the puzzle fit together and we have felt the pain of trying to force pieces together that didn't fit.

But today we are experiencing the excitement that comes from waiting on His timing and His perfect plan.   In two days we will be leaving for Michigan.  We will be one step closer to stepping foot in the country of Spain.  In fact, the excitement makes the preparation a little difficult.  I'd rather just get in the car and go than to do all the planning, but that would be a bad idea.

Our children will not be going with us so there is a lot of planning to do to get them ready.  Thank you to every friend who is helping out.  I can not imagine how people make it through life without the support of a loving church.  I truly consider myself blessed and loved.

We will be gone for 15 days so there is a lot of work to be done at our jobs to be gone for that long.  Again, as I think of the members who will step up and make sure things get done while I am gone I am reminded that I am blessed. 

Will you pray for us over the next two weeks?  Here are some of our specific requests:

• Pray for us between now and Friday night to get all the details of being gone accomplished and without stress
• Pray about the sell of the house - yes, we still own a house.  I have prayed all along that God would sell the house before we left for Michigan, but it does not appear to be in God's timing.  Pray that I do not let emotions shade the way I see God's answer.  We will leave the house in showing order when we leave Friday, but the kids will be in and out while we are gone.
• We will begin the drive after Scott gets off work on Friday evening.  We will be traveling just a few hours that night and then go on to Adrian, Michigan on Saturday.  We have planned to see some friends that we haven't seen in 13 years.  They are traveling home today or tomorrow from Florida from her father's death.  Pray for them as they travel.  Pray that we will be a sweet blessing to them and that we have a refreshing visit.
• Sunday we will drive the last 2 hours to Farmington, Michigan.  We must arrive at SEND's headquarters between 3 and 5 on Sunday.
• Pray for Hannah and Alex as they deal with the stress of parents being gone for two weeks.
• Prat for Zach as he started a new college this week.

I am hoping to be able to keep the blog up to date while we are gone.  Check back often.  These next two weeks are gonna be great!  We hope you will join us in this stretch of the "ride of a lifetime."

Showing Update

Late this morning we got a call saying that a second family would like to see the house this afternoon.  Every showing puts us one step closer to selling the house. 

First family had positive feedback, but not quite ready to make a decision.  No feedback from the second showing yet. 

I WILL praise God whether it sells this week or not.  I'd so much rather wait on Him since He can see the whole picture than rush ahead with my own schedule.  Not always easy, but always best!

Showing the House

After nearly a month of no showings on the house we have two scheduled for today.  I have prayed from the beginning that the house would be under contract before we leave for COP (Candidate Orientation Program) next Friday.  Keep praying that if it is God's will this prayer will be requested.  And if it isn't His timing, pray that I will keep that in the forefront of my mind. 

I repeat, this is the "ride of a lifetime."  Up and down continues the roller coaster!

Whew! This Round of Paperwork is Complete

At 11:30 last night we turned in the paperwork that is due today.  I'm not normally a procrastinator, but with Christmas, Winterfest, and New Years, there just didn't seem to be enough time to sit down and complete it all.  Today I will day a break from all the "to do lists" for becoming a missionary and focus on daily life.  Has anyone seen my desk or counter at work?  I know I left them in my office, but amidst all the junk that has shown up there I'm not sure I can see them.  Clean clothes?  They are a thing of my dreams.  My goal is tomorrow to be able to get dressed 100% in my room tomorrow and not have to make trips to the garage where I have hidden the laundry that came out of the dryer when I didn't have time to fold it.  Alex commented yesterday its been a long time since we had a regular dinner at home around the table - it might be peanut butter and jelly, but we will sit down at the table together tonight.  It will have to be quick since its girl scouts night, but I am determined.

The paperwork that took the longest this time was our Doctrinal Statements.  The directions said "without outside help except from the Bible and a concordance, state your belief concerning the following Biblical doctrines.  Indicate the scripture references that support your views.  Prepare a paragraph on each item with a total of no more than four pages.  Husband and wife each must prepare their own statements."  I read the list quickly and thought to myself - I know what I believe on these things, this should be easy, then I sat down to write.  Thinking you know what you believe and supporting your beliefs with scripture and not tradition is a whole different story.  It took some serious digging and thinking to complete this step.  When we were both finished, Scott and I exchanged papers to proof each other's and just had to laugh.  We are so different!  Our approach to the layout of the answers to even some of the doctrines was different.  Scott was so complicated and technical and black and white.  I was "flowy."  He was mostly worried about answering every piece with precision, I was mostly worried about making sure the personnel team could understand what I meant.  On two of the doctrines we didn't see eye to eye.  We had some great family theological discussions when it was all done.

The best part of this exercise was the challenge it gave me to support what I believe, not to depend on someone else.  Just because my parents believed something or even because Pastor Rick taught it (although he is usually pretty reliable) is not a reason to accept a doctrine.  The scriptures are the only source of authority.  I challenge you to do the same exercise.  Take the list below and think of what you believe.  Then go to the scriptures - can you find scripture to support your belief or do you need to do a little more digging?  You'll be amazed at what you learn!

1. The inspiration and inerrancy of the Scriptures
2. The virgin birth, deity and pre-incarnation existence of Christ.
3. The death and resurrection of Christ - was it for all or only the elect?
4. The personality, baptism and filling of the Holy Spirit.
5. Sanctification - include past,, present and future aspects.
6. The security of the believer.
7. The church.
8. The significance of water baptism and the Lord's Supper
9. Healing and tongues today.
10. The return of the Lord
11. The millennium
12. Heaven and hell
13. Eternal Punishment
14. Judgement of the unreached and unresponsive.
15. Satan and demons.
16. The believer's responsibility towards evangelism - how does this relate or compare with social ministry and justice?

Have a great day and do a little digging!

New Year's Resolutions

I have never been good at New Year's Resolutions and don't think I'll be very good at them this year too.  I have such a great aspirations for the new year and then somewhere around mid January I have already forgotten them.  I usually look at the new year and  decide to change my entire life (and often the world).  Then, I quit. 

But this year I shall approach 2010 a little differently.  I have been reading David Nasser's new book Jumping Through Fires.  In the book he asks his wife (they were not even dating at the time) if she wants to just be content or overwhelmed.  He goes on to share that we often choose contentment as our life goals and level of satisfaction.  We are content to be content.  We want no more out of life than contentment.  But we miss out on the best things of life when we settle for contentment.

So, my New Year's Resolution this year is to live life overwhelmed.  Whoa!  Just saying that is a little scary but I am no longer going to be satisfied with contentment.  I wanna be so overwhelmed with what God is doing around me and through me and in me that I'll never settle for contentment again.  I want to experience life to its fullest.  I want to see the sun rise and set.  I want to have relationships with people that are life changing.  I want to reach for the stars and not only get one, but instead a whole constellation.  I want to be overwhelmed!

The secret to this overwhelming life is going to be who I let direct it.  If I go after overwhelmed on my own I will definitely be overwhelmed, but not in a good way.  Instead if I choose to become overwhelmed with what God wants I am in for a year I will never forget.  I cannot wait to see what I learn about God.  I am almost giddy with anticipation as to what I am going to see God do this year.  I am anxious (not in a worry sort of way) to see what God is going to change in me.  I look forward to the challenges of life that will result in being overwhelmed.

Overwhelmed is often a negative term - but this year for me - its gonna be my life goal.  I want to be overwhelmed because then I will know I am walking in a place where only God can be in charge.  How about you?  Will you settle for contentment in 2010 or will you join me in the quest for overwhelmed?

House STILL for Sale

Well, the family that was interested in our house bought a different house.  So, we STILL have a house for sale.  I realized as I read the email that contained this information I have two choices - rejoice that God is in control or be depressed.  Today I will rejoice.  I had already calculated the time frame of where closing would possibly be if they bought the house and it was right smack in the middle of COP in January and I couldn't figure out how I would make that happen.  So I know God is in charge.  He knows all that is on the calendar and what the days ahead hold and He will protect us.

So, if any of you know of anyone who is interested in a house in Kernersville, we still have a beautiful home for sale.

I have been studying what it means to look for God's will lately and questioning whether God has a specific will for our lives or not.   I challenge you to think about the same thing.  Don't think about it in regards to what you have always been taught, but instead in regards to what scripture says.  Just begin to ponder this and in the coming weeks I'll post some of the things I have discovered.  WARNING - what I have always been taught in church is not necessarily what is taught in scripture.  I am always amazed at how excited I get about scripture when I take time to actually dig into it.

Today is Christmas Eve.  Enjoy it!  Spend some time making memories (see yesterday's post).  Relax in what doesn't get done and make the most of what does.  Worship the Saviour whose birthday we are about to celebrate.  Remember, there are no promises of another Christmas Eve just like this one, so savor every moment.

Making Memories

If I spend a lot of time thinking about my life I can list a lot of regrets I have, but this mission journey has repeatedly pointed out the same regret - I spent too much of my life living on a promised tomorrow and worrying about perfection of things for today.  I have worried too much about things looking perfect, being just so, and doing all that it took to be sure that I thought everyone was happy.  Along the way I forgot to stop and make some memories.

Now don't get me wrong - I have a bunch of wonderful memories, but I also have a bunch of stuff that I could have done without and made more memories instead.  I have spent too much of my life striving for perfection at the expense of missing out on relationships and new friends.  I have lived with the mentality that tomorrow I will stop and do "that."  It took beginning to walk this mission journey to let go of the promise of tomorrow and to start living today like it could be the last one spent with the friends and family that are nearby. 

We do not know our time frame for arriving in Spain and I find myself wanting to stop and spend a few extra minutes with people instead of things, just in case this is our last Christmas, New Years, Groundhog Day, snow season, ...  Hannah has requested "one more of everything."  In other words, she wants one full year before we leave for Spain.  I heard myself saying to her that we aren't promised tomorrow so be sure you live today as if it was your last day here.  Later I realized I should heed my own advice.

God does not promise us tomorrow.  In fact, in James it is called sin to so confident in tomorrow that we boast of it.  James 4:13-16  "Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. " 

This Christmas season I pray that people have seen a difference in me.  Things are little simpler at my house - not quite so many decorations, a lot fewer gifts, a huge reduction in baking (sorry to those who usually get a tray of tretas), and a lot less stress.  I pray that through this season I have instead spent time in relationships instead of things. 

We will be in Michigan in January and this has caused a lot of reminiscing about the years we spent living in Michigan.  We have been telling the kids stories after stories and then we stopped and wondered why we had so many great memories and no contact with anyone from there.  So we have had a great time looking up and reconnecting wtih people from Michigan.  Scrolling through facebook pages and seeeing faces that we haven't talked to or thought of in years and with each face sharing new stories.  We cannot wait to actually see a few of these friends face to face while we are there. 

When the day comes that we step on that airplane and are headed for Spain we will be able to take very few things - but I intend for my heart to be bursting with memories.  I pray that I never lose sight again of the fact that we are not promised tomorrow and that I grab every  moment of life for things that are lasting - relationships here on earth and in eternity.

Scott on the Radio

As Siloam Missionary Homes and Conference Center continues to follow our journey our next episode of their radio show will air on Saturday, December 26 at 3:30.  But you can get a preview here. 

Siloam Missionary Homes is following three families who are on a mission journey with different focuses and thee different destinations.  You will hear about all three journeys in this episode.

Thanks for your support and encouragement.

Cookie Dough Truffles

I first had these truffles at a Cornerstone WEE school Thanksgiving feast and then a dear friend, Marsha Judy shared the recipe.  For some reason we only make these at Christmas, but when we decide to make them we eat several batches in a row.




Cookie Dough Truffles

1/2 c butter, softened
1/2 c firmly packed brown sugar
1/4 c sugar
1/4 c thawed egg substitute
1 tsp vanilla extract
 1 1/4 c all purpose flour
1 c miniature semi-sweet chocolate morsels
12 oz pkg semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 1/2 tbsp shortening

Beat butter at medium speed until creamed.  Gradually add sugars, beating well.  Add egg substitute and vanilla; beat well.  Add flour; beat well.  Stir in miniature chocolate morsels.  Cover and chill for 30 minutes.

Shape mixture into 1" balls.  Cover and freeze  balls until very firm.

Place 12 oz pkg of chocolate chips and shortening in a bowl; melt according to package directions (either stove top or microwave).  Quickly dip frozen truffles into melted chocolate mixture, coating completely.  Place on wax paper to harden.

Yield:  3 1/2 - 4 dozen
Store in refrigerator.

Jumping for Joy

This morning in my email were the words that we have been waiting to hear...

"Dear Scott and Cindy,

I am delighted to inform you that the Missionary Personnel Committee has reviewed your documents and references and decided to put you on ‘approved candidate’ status. This means that we are asking you to complete the application process and we are inviting you for an interview which will take place during COP in January."

 
We have been approved to move on to the next step in the process of becoming full time career missionaries for SEND International in the country of Spain.  I am so excited I can hardly sit still!  So much for what I am supposed to be accomplishing in my office today. 
 
And as for the house... we showed the house a 2nd time yesterday to the same family.  They have narrowed their search down to two houses, and we are one of them.  We are just praying that God will reign supremely over the sell of our house.  We selfishly would like this to be it, but we will trust that God has a perfect Sovereign will and will bring to pass what He needs to happen in His timing to accomplish His plan.  What a great place to be!
 
Thanks for your encouragement and support and prayers and questions and excitement.  This is the journey of a lifetime and we are so glad to be sharing it with you!

Real Estate in December Continued...

We just got a call requesting an appointment for a 2nd showing on our house for tomorrow morning.  In the morning I will bake an apple pie or some pumpkin bread and make the house feel like a home.  We invite you to join us as we continue to pray that this might be the family that decides to buy our home.

And while you are praying about that, tomorrow morning is also the time that SEND's personnel team will be meeting on our application.  Pray that we will continue to get positive feedback and we will proceed to the next step of the application process.

Real Estate in December

Just as I decided that we would probably be done showing the house for the rest of 2009, we got a call yesterday that someone would like to see our house this morning.  Thank goodness it was clean this time and all I have left to do are the floors (which by the way I have decided I will not mop or vacuum for at least a month when the house finally sells).  It's cold, foggy, and a chance of rain - but someone is still house shopping.  Pray that today may be the day that we sell our house!  I can think of no better Christmas present.

Alex

When those times come that I begin to question whether God really knows what I need most in my life I just have to look at Alex.  We believed our family was complete and then God gave us a wonderful gift - a third child, Alex.  I look back more than eleven years ago and I wondered at time if God really knew what I needed at that point in my life.  But he knew Alex's personality and disposition before he formed him in my womb and He knew that it would be Alex who brought perspective to all of life.

Alex is impossible to punish as he can find something to do to entertain himself and those around regardless of what is at his disposal.  At the moment he is grounded and unable to use anything that requires electricity (including things that run on batteries as they require charging - yes he asked if he could use his game boy since the battery was charged).  Long story as to how he got to this point, but he is fixing it.  The problem with this punishment is that now he thinks I am his personal entertainment.  Saturday night he wanted to know if we could play a card game since he couldn't watch TV.  Still trying to figure out if I played cards with him did I encourage the behavior that got him grounded?  Yesterday he told me that he missed his electronic toys, but it was ok - it gave him more time to read a book. 

But today I was reminded once again one of the many blessings Alex brings to my life.  We were blog hopping this morning.  You know, go to a blog you are following and read their latest post, then click on a blog they are following and read it, and then click on one they are following, and etc.  Amazing the people you meet and the things you learn!  We started with a blog from a family in Spain (the mom of the house broke her knee yesterday, so please pray for Julie - lots of decisions and pain).  From there we went to another blog of a teacher in Spain at the missionary school Alex will probably attend.  With only the excitement possible of a 11 year old boy we watched every video and looked at every picture on her blog.  As he exclaimed "look!  That is what I might be doing next year - I can't wait!" God confirmed once again he knows best for our lives.

First he blessed me with Alex.  When I take life a little too serious Alex steps in and shows me life is meant for laughing and living.  Second, he called us to missions.  Many parents are afraid to surrender to missions because of what it might do to their children.  I cannot think of any more confirmation that God considered the kids in the calling than Alex's excited proclamations this morning.  Third, God will direct if we seek Him.  We believe that Spain will be our international destination in this journey and God is generating an excitement in the kids through other missionaries.  That can only be a God thing!

God is good and God does know what is best! 

The Morning After

Just a quick update regarding our home visit...

We had a great time!  Dinner was delicious (even if I say so), but the company was fabulous.  We chatted for 6+ hours yesterday.   We learned so much about the process that is ahead of us and about the culture in Spain.  We laughed at stories of mission work and shared our excitement with her.  By the time she left last night we all felt like we had made a new friend.  She answered a lot of our questions about the future and really made us feel comfortable.  God was good and present last night!  To Him I give all the praise!

Thank you to all who were praying yesterday.  Every prayer was answered.  Again, the only way I can describe this process is "the ride of a lifetime" and I am determined to enjoy every minute of it!

The Menu Is...

Today is our home visit from a personnel team member of SEND International, the sending agency we are applying with.  I have stressed all week over the menu, which table to eat at, what to wear, how to squeeze in Alex's homework before she arrives, and a whole lot more crazy details.  Today I have changed my focus.  I will enjoy cooking dinner for her, as I rarely get to use my gift of hospitality due to the rat race life we use.  I will not stress over how perfect my children need to be.  I will not stress over whether she is going to like everything I serve, I am sure there will be something she likes.  I will not stress over whether I answer every question perfectly, nor will I stress over whether my kids and Scott answer them perfectly either. 

Today I will enjoy the process.  Today I will view this as an opportunity to share our passion for reaching the lost world with someone else who shares the same passion.  Today I will rest in the fact that God is in control.  Today I will be a "Martha" throughout the day, but come 4:00, I will be a "Mary." 

Pray for us to keep our focus on enjoying the process instead of stressing over the tiny details that really don't matter.  Pray for us during the home visit (starts between 4 and 4:30) that regardless of our words or the food, she will hear our hearts and passion.  Pray that she will recommend our continuing in the process when she leaves.  Pray for her safe travels today as she flies from Michigan to Raleigh and then drives to Kernersville.  Pray that when enters our house she will find a home that is welcoming and full of the Holy Spirit.

And to all of you who have watched me agonize over the menu for tonight...I have gone to the grocery store, so no more changes...

Pot Roast with potatoes and carrots
Rice and Gravy
Green Beans
Watergate Salad
Yeast Rolls
Cheesecake with Ganache Icing

Thank you for joining us on this journey.

The Dash

I went to a funeral last night of a dear man from our church.  He lived nearly all of his 80+ years for Christ.  You could see it in every aspect of his life.  At the funeral the following poem was read.  A challenge to us all.  Will you take a moment to pray for the Caudle family as they mourn the loss of this great man and yet at the same time celebrate his homecoming and then consider how will you live your "dash?"

The Dash Poem - by Linda Ellis


I read of a man who stood to speak

At the funeral of a friend

He referred to the dates on her tombstone

From the beginning to the end

He noted that first came the date of her birth

And spoke the following date with tears,

But he said what mattered most of all

Was the dash between those years

For that dash represents all the time

That she spent alive on earth.

And now only those who loved her

Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not how much we own;

The cars, the house, the cash,

What matters is how we live and love

And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard.

Are there things you’d like to change?

For you never know how much time is left,

That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough

To consider what’s true and real

And always try to understand

The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,

And show appreciation more

And love the people in our lives

Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,

And more often wear a smile

Remembering that this special dash

Might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read

With your life’s actions to rehash

Would you be proud of the things they say

About how you spent your dash?

©1996 Linda Ellis

Cheers for Scott

Right in front of my eyes I am watching marriages fall apart, both in and out of the church.  It's heartbreaking the number of families who are slipping away and the church is doing nothing to rescue them or hang on to them.  I heard a pastor say once that a church is only as strong as the marriages within it.  So true! 

Scott and I have had our own struggles.  We both can think of times when dissolving our marriage seemed to be the best and only option.  But only by the grace of God did we hang on.  At the beginning of our marriage we committed to never consider divorce, but we skirted around that commitment.  We joked about it when things were rough.  We essentially separated within our own home (silent treatment, sleeping on the couch, ...)  A few years back we decided that we didn't particularly like the marriage we had any more.  Life was too long to live that way.  So we started over.  We made a new commitment to never consider divorce or even separation as an option.  We agreed that there was nothing that could come our way that with God's help we could not overcome.  We determined the foundation of our marriage would be God - not just by going to church together, but by praying together and studying the Bible together.  Wow!  Amazing things that God can do when you put it all in His hands!

But today's post is not about the trouble we had at one point in our life - but instead a public cheer for Scott (another lesson I learned in the troubled waters - I gripe too much in public about what He doesn't do - he does a lot of good things that ought to be shared instead).  It has been a long week and another long week lies ahead.  He stayed home from church last night with Hannah because she was sick.  I came home to laundry washed, dried, and folded AND he had cooked the sausage I need today for a work party.  You know, I can just melt in his arms when he does these kind of things.  So Scott, I want to publicly thank you for showing your love and care for me in such a tangible fashion.  I love you very much!

It's a Family Thing

Well, originally we started this blog as a family and planned on all of us posting on the same blog, but somewhere along the way the blog became my blog so Scott has started his own blog.  Should be interesting to follow our journey from two different perspectives.  Hopefully you will relate to one of us as we travel along this road.  His blog is at http://www.alienzonearth.blogspot.com/.

Radio Show Airs Tomorrow

Siloam Missionary Homes in Snow Camp, North Carolina will be following our journey to surrendering to missions. Each month they will update our progress on their radio show called "A Place Missionaries Call Home." This show airs on 830 AM WTRU along with a few other stations across the country.

You can also listen to all three segments below.

Hands and Feet

First - an update from yesterday - after pitching a temper tantrum with God and coming back to being ok with God's timing and the peace that comes from being willing to surrender it all to him the day began.  It was a crazy day!  It was a stressful day!  It was a day that ended with the makings of a migraine - but right smack in the middle of it God said..."I heard you!  I still hear you!  I want to remind you that I am in control and I do care about you."  Our house has been on the market for 8 weeks - it has never shown on a weekday and it has never shown in bad weather and it hasn't shown in two weeks, so I have gotten kind of lazy about being sure the house is always in showing order.  In fact, yesterday when I left work it was raining and it was a Wednesday and there were dishes in the sink and laundry on the floor and beds were unmade and Christmas decoration boxes were open in the living room and half the house was decorated for Thanksgiving and half the house was decorated for Christmas and....  At noon the scheduling desk for house showings calls and a realtor wants to show the house at 3:15.  At 2:00 the scheduling desk calls again to schedule another showing at 4:30.  As much as I'd like to say the day ended with an offer on the house, it didn't.  But the day did end with my knowing, without a doubt, God does care.  He loves me and he cares for me and although He would much prefer we skip the temper tantrum to get to that point, He still loves me afterwards and He was willing to show me in a huge way.  (by the way, the house has never shown twice in the same day either)

Now on to the title of this post - Oswald Chambers in My Utmost For His Highest says today "I have to deliberately to give my sanctified life to God for His service, so that He can use me as His hands and His feet."  Makes me wonder and ask - what will I do today - not after we eventually get to the mission field, but right now right where am I to be His hands and feet.  I have to remind myself that this journey we are taking doesn't have a final earthly destination and quit focusing on the end and watch for the now.  I wonder how many opportunities I have missed over the last year by focusing on the "when we finally get there?"  May today God find me faithful in being used as His hands and His feet.

Temper Tantrum On It's Way

It's not fair!  It just isn't!  I'd like to sit down in the middle of my floor (of which I still own) and pitch a big, loud, fully explosive temper tantrum!  (ok friends - this is an honest post - so go ahead and admit to yourself you have wanted to do so recently too!)  I want to have a temper tantrum just like any child who has been told no by their earthly father, but I'd like to pitch one at what my heavenly father has said so far.

We still own a house!  It isn't fair.  I have asked God repeatedly to sell the house and yet his answer has been "in my perfect timing."  I know, I know!  That is really what I want - his perfect timing, but in the midst of chaos and mess and more there are times I think I would prefer my timing.  I learned yesterday that a friend sold their house in less than a week.  They didn't have a plan as to where they are going.  They are selling to move "up."  That is where my focus changed and I allowed sin to enter into my desires regarding the house. 


Follow this path of thought - 1)  we surrendered to missions - that is a good thing, God is proud; 2)  we commit to selling our material goods - that is a good thing, God is proud; 3)  we list our house on the market for the right price for the market, not what we would really like - that is a good thing, God is proud; 4)  we ask God to sell the house quickly so we can cut our housing expenses to be able to pay off some bills and save for the mission field - that is a good thing, God is proud; 5)  we are selling our house in this market for a spiritual reason, not an earthly reason - that is a good thing, God is proud and is going to bless right now, before he blesses "less spiritual reasons."  Anybody else see where I ended up at temper tantrum instead of peace?  Now please note - this is not the path I took from the beginning - only yesterday when jealousy and pride and all kinds of other sinful thoughts were allowed into my brain.  It was fast and it was easy and I was into full blown temper tantrum with God before I even realized it. 


So today's quiet time had to take a turn from my normal plans.  I could picture God sitting with me just listening and watching my temper tantrum (you parents of preschoolers can picture this too) waiting on me to turn to him and listen to Him.  Waiting on me to stop wanting my way so bad that I couldn't hear what He was saying.  Wanting it in my timing so bad that I couldn't trust that He really knew what was best for me, even though I can't see why waiting is best.  Waiting on me to take my eyes off everyone else and put them back on Him. 


How blessed I am that I do have a heavenly father that didn't just throw up his hands and say "when you are through with this temper tantrum and can be more spiritual and righteous, come find me, but until then you are on your own."  (I can hear me, a parent, saying something similar, can you?)  How grateful I am that my heavenly father never left me in the midst of my fit, never stopped loving me, never wavered in his plan, and most importantly - is willing, able, and wants to forgive me for the sin that led me to the fit.


This journey can be bumpy at times.  Sometimes the bumps feel like huge caverns in the road.  Most of the times these bumps come because I have put my focus back on me and what I can and am doing and want and taken them off the "driver."  Praise God that He never leaves the journey.  Thank God that although he knows I am going to veer off the road occasionally, He is going to stand firm in His direction and plan.  And be careful - it only took a few seconds to take control of the situation, let pride and jealousy fill my brain, and downhill went this journey. 


"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:9)  will be my prayer today.

Knee Deep in Paperwork

I had no idea how much paperwork it took to become a missionary.  In some imaginary land I believed you woke up one day, told God yes you'd go wherever he wanted to send, and the next you left.  Boy did I have it wrong!

First the initial application - it was relatively short and easy.  It was our first opportunity to tell the administrators of our sending agency that we wanted to go.  It was all about the exciting pieces of being called to missions.  It was fun.

Then came the next phase of paperwork - a little more detailed and a lot more questions.  Because we are working with an interdenominational organization we had to answer questions related to theology and scripture.  Make me think do I really know what I believe.  Then we had to come up with 7 references each (no duplicates) related to all the different aspects of our lives - work, family, friends, ministry, and more.  Best part of that phase was that we got to stop and realize how blessed we are with friends and coworkers who support our desire to be missionaries and who walk in the same faith that we share.

Then we waited.  Then all of a sudden the wheels began to turn and have turned in fast pace since then.  And to prove it, the paperwork has come in faster than we can finish it.  There is the application phase 2 - a chance to tell SEND about every aspect of our life, including writing an autobiography.  So how detailed am I supposed to be?  I wonder if they really want to know that I rode my bike to school as an elementary aged student and that my first car was a Ford Pinto?  Then the health questions came.  You wouldn't believe some of the questions they ask.  I know they are all for our good, but I do not remember how old I was when I had the chicken pox and where do you look for childhood immunization records when you are 44 (I have learned you can call the school system where you graduated from high school and they will have a copy)?  I am doing much better at completing the health forms for Alex - he's only 11 so my memory doesn't have to be as good.  Pray for us as we dig out all the answers.

Then there is the prayer card.  We need a family portrait. We have been discussing family pictures for six months - guess now it is time to actually to do it.  I am thinking white shirts with either black pants or blue jeans.  Something casual - now on to the location.  Any suggestions?

Orientation is in January and since we have almost finished the pile of paperwork we have now, they sent us some more.  Spiritual gift surveys and personality surveys and more.  When we finish the paperwork I will know more about myself than I ever did.

But the exciting part of the process has been that as I have had to figure out all these answers we have reminisced about forgotten memories.  Made me think of friends I have lost contact with (and even took time out to look up a few) and made me stop and tell the kids some stories of their childhoods.  I guess I'll have to add all the paperwork to my list of things I'll choose to be thankful for.

Praise and Prayer

We want to give praise to God for:

• Being a God who is trustworthy, faithful, loving, purposeful, caring, merciful, full of grace, forgiving, my stronghold, my protector, and more.
• Knowing all - what happened yesterday, is happening today, and will happen tomorrow
• Giving life - not just a life of breathing and heart beats, but a full life - one that is able to enjoy every moment
• Fall - the colors of fall give such a beautiful picture of God's creativity - not a boring, stone god, but one who is the creator of beauty.
• His plan - He could have chosen to save the world without the "help" of man, but instead he has allowed us, ME, to be a part of the blessing of seeing men and women, boys and girls, begin their relationship with Him.  There is nothing more exciting!
• Tears - I don't particularly like to be sad and shed the tears, but imagine life without emotions.  Oh what we would miss!

We ask you to join us in asking God for:

• Direction - we are making lots of decisions quickly.  Pray that we hear God's direction in every decision we make.
• House - our desire is for the house to sell today (alright, its 8:00 at night, so it isn't going to sell today, but tomorrow would be ok).  Pray that it sells quickly and for the right price.  We are specifically asking that God sell the house so that by the time we go to Candidate Orientation Program in January the house is sold and we are moving. 
• Finances - pray that we will be committed to looking at tomorrow and not today with every financial decision we make.  Keep us focused on the long term goals and not the rewards of today.
• Paperwork - we have lots of paperwork to complete over the next two weeks.  Pray for time to complete the paperwork, answers to be clear, and for SEND personnel to read them and hear our hearts, even if the words aren't right.
• Home Visit - we have scheduled our home visit for December 10.   Pray for the safe travel of the SEND interviewer and for the time we will spend visiting in our home. 

Thank you for your support and friendship; this is definitely a group journey!

Field Trip

I took a field trip Wednesday to Siloam Missionary Homes (http://www.siloamhomes.org/).  It is a retreat center that provides homes for missionaries while they home for either medical visits or stateside stays.  It is located on a beautiful piece of property in Snow Camp, North Carolina (a little community outside Burlington).  The homes have all been built with donated money, materials, and labor.  The homes are beautifully decorated and are a variety of sizes.  They are provided for minimal rent charges.  The field trip opened my eyes to new ministry opportunities, but even more to the realities that we have surrendered our lives to.

We watched a video promoting the homes that pointed out the needs of missionaries.  Realities that I knew in my head, but had not really totally considered.  I knew we would sell our house and our worldly goods and move to some other country, but what were we to do in four years when we come home on furlough?  Live with my parents for a year?  Who is going to rent an apartment to Americans who have not been in the country for four years who have no employment?  Not to mention, how are we going to afford the average cost of an apartment?

What about when we are too old to continue to serve on the mission field?  No house to sell to allow us to move into some type of retirement home.  Will we live with our children and their families at this point? 

I know that God is going to provide for those needs, but the reality is big.  Each day I learn a little more about all that I have surrendered.  The journey is exciting, but along the way there are many road signs.  Pray that as we continue on this journey we keep our eyes on the prize - obedience to God and an opportunity to impact at least one person's life for Christ.

Crossing the Finish Line

I did it!  I not only finished my first 5K race, I wasn't the last person to cross the finish line.  And to make it even better, I was still running when I reached the finish line!  Anyone need proof that miracles still happen? This is a big one.

I started in the spring doing the Couch Potato to 5K program. (http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml)  It is suppsoed to be a 9 week program that is interval training.  Well, it took me a little longer than 9 weeks to finish the program, but I stuck with it and I finished the program and the race.  Now I still can't run as fast as the program trains you for and I am definitely better at flat land that hills, but I finished.

It felt good to finish something physical.  I am so not athletic!  I have always throught I would like to run, but I have a great aversion to sweating, but this was worth it.

Now on to the next race - I am running in the Gobbler on Thanksgiving morning with Hannah (Scott and Alex did the race yesterday too).  It isn't quite as flat, but am excited anyhow. 

Anyone wanna join me?

I'm NOT in Control!!!

I am a planner.  I like to know what I am going to do today, tomorrow, and hopefully next week too.  I like to have check lists and I like to see things checked off each day.  I like to have lots of things going at once because you can almost always see progress in at least one of the projects at all time.  I like black and white and no shades of gray.  I am not a visionary but instead I am an implementer.  You dream it and I'll get it done. 

I am usually good at making decisions because I'll search until I know the answers to all the questions.  I research it, make lists, and can usually come to a good decision.  I can handle major projects with little notice, just give me a pad and let me make a list of what we need to accomplish.  I especially like it when everyone wants to follow my list in my order.

There is a big problem with all of the things above.  Almost every sentence started with "I."  I can do all that in my power.  As long as I have control I can do pretty good.  But guess what.  Very little of life is done my way with my being in control.  So what do I do with the remainder of my life where I am not in control?  The majority of my life?  What do I do when I know that what is happening to me is totally out of my control?

My first response is to grab a big piece of gooey chocolate dessert and a great chic flick and hide on the couch as if life isn't happening.  My next response is to panic and try to regain control.  Eventually I often even hit meltdown (and I'll spare you the details of how that looks).  But you know, when all this is done I am still not in control.

So if I'm not in control, then who is?  God is!  Nothing in my life surprises him!  Nothing in my life is out of His control.  He doesn't even need my help or even one of my lists.  He can handle my life (and yours) all by himself.  But the question is, will I let him?  Why do I fight it so much?  I never win.  Why can't I just let him have it from the beginning? I'd save myself (and all those around me) a lot of grief and torture.  I wonder what it will take for me to decide from the beginning to let Him be in contol instead of me. 

My first step is to decide that I trust Him enough with my life to let Him be in control.  My needing to control him is a symptom of not trusting.  Ouch!  Letting go of control is where the rubber hits the road - my faith hits life.  Do I (or do you) trust Him with your life totally and completely that I don't need to be in control anymore?

My second step is time in prayer.  One day I pray that I master letting go without the temper tantrums of a toddler, but to get there I'm going to have to spend a lot of time with God, letting Him remind me time after time that He is trustworthy.  If I just stop planning (and list making) and listen, God will show me His plan and His list.  He doesn't need my help, but I have to be quiet and still to hear it from Him.

Thirdly I need to memorize scripture that reminds me He knows every detail of my life - the number of hairs on my head, whether I am standing or sitting, the thoughts of my mind, ... If he knows the whole picture (more than I could ever know) doesn't it make sense He makes a better "driver" in my life than I do?  But when Satan starts to whisper those lies in my ear about God needing my help I need scripture to remind me that God is doing just fine without my help.

How about you?  Are you still in control?  Are you just trying to help God out a little?  Guess what - He doesn't need your help anymore than He needs my help.  I pray that you and I both get it - we cannot be in control of our lives.  It just doesn't work and when we try it is definitely a lot of useless work.  I pray that today and tomorrow and the tomorrows that are coming I will be ready to move out of the way and let God be in charge.  I'll still make lists and I'll still try to organize everything and everyone, but the difference is that God will direct my lists and organizing and timing and plans and more.  We are in for the "ride of a lifetime" and my God is trustworthy of directing the ride!

Send International

Wow!  Go from no posts to three posts in two days...lots of catching up to do.

After a lot of searching and praying and investigating and questioning and etc we began the application process with Send International.  I invite you to wander through their website and learn about them.  They are a smaller sending agency with the focus of church planting through discipleship.  They are much smaller than the IMB and therefore they are in fewer countries.  Their primary focus is Europe, Asia, and Canada. 

Because of their size they are able to make more individualized decisions which is a plus for our family.  They have missionaries serving in their organization from all over the world.

They are a faith based organization which is stretching our faith.  As we work through the process we will begin to raise our own support.  We are learning a lot about faith and obedience.

Pray for us as we work through the process - things seem to be moving quickly right now - so watch for updates in the near future.

SEND International

Days in the Desert

When I think of a desert I think of dry, parched land.  I picture scenes from movies where the character is alone and dragging themselves across the sand and searching for water or people.  They are usually searching for someone to rescue them from dying in the desert.

The only description I can find for the past months is that of a walk in a vast desert.  It has been lonely at times and dry and seems to go on forever.  There seemed to be  no one to rescue from the desert, no one to offer a drink of water.

Now let me be careful to say that this wasn't a lonely walk because people weren't around, but instead because it was a journey that I needed to take with God.  People around me were encouraging and asked to pray for us.  People were in that desert with me, but the walk God had planned wasn't one of fellowship with others, but fellowship with Him.

He intended to teach  me that He was the sole author of the plan for my life.  He was the water that quenched my thirst and the director of my paths.  Because we  reached a no in the journey didn't mean He had changed.  He needed my attention to teach me some things.

One of the biggest lessons I learned in the desert was that God was trustworthy and that He still speaks.  I learned that I needed to first run to God and trust that He would answer my prayers and show me the way.  I had the formula backwards - God will speak and he will use circumstances and people to confirm His speaking.  I tended to listen to people and circumstances and beg God to confirm what they were saying to me.  Dangerous ground to tread on.

It took not sharing a lot of things with people and focusing on listening to God, but I can tell you that He will speak when we choose to listen.  He will make His way clear.  He is trustworthy.

Would I chose to intentionally wander for 10 months in a desert?  Absolutely not - I prefer cool weather and lots of fellowship.  Would I trade the lessons I have learned in the last 10 months.  Definitely not!  I have found a friend who so greatly desires to rescue me from a dry desert and lead me beside still waters!

The Wheels are Turning

It's been about ten months since I wrote and now I don't know where to begin. I have known that it was time to resume the telling of this journey but couldn't figure out how to condense the last ten months into a single post so I kept postponing. Finally decided today to just begin to tell the journey and fill in the blanks as I go along. I'll try to not write books with each post, but good luck in catching up with this roller coaster ride.

When we last talked, the IMB told us that we were not a fit for their organization. They recommended we wait at least three years, let Scott get a seminary degree, and we no longer have teenagers in the house. What a blow! We knew that God had placed the call of missions on our life, yet we were being told no.

Ten months later the emotions still rise quickly to the surface as I think of those days. We argued with God, with man and with each other. We searched to hear what God was telling us through man. How could we know so confidently that we had heard from God yet hit a solid wall in the progress? What did God want us to learn. When the emotions calmed down we searched and begged God to show us His plan. Over the next few posts I'll tell you about the many lessons we learned, but the first thing I have to tell you is that we learned that God was still God. His plan had not changed. His love for us had not changed. His call on our life had not changed. And most importantly - He didn't leave us when we heard the answer no.

God is God, no matter what. No matter what man says, God will be God. God will use everything to accomplish His plan. God's plan can not be thwarted. God will reign over everything. God was not surprised with the IMB answer and God used it to shape us a little more into the people we need to be for His perfect plan.

In some ways I would describe the last ten months as standing still, but as the wheels have begun to turn again, I realize that we have never stopped moving, just not at my preferred pace. So hold on and join me for the ride of a lifetime. I can promise you it is full of curves and hills and the speed will vary from moment to moment. But even more, I can promise you that God has a lot to teach me (and maybe you).