Your Greatest Confidant

OK - I like people. I like being around people. I like talking to people. I like to have people at my house. I find a quiet car very difficult to deal with. I want to be on the phone withe someone (you should see my cell phone bill) or have someone talking to me. I don't often listen to music while traveling, but I love talk radio and recorded books. It's almost like having someone to talk to. I usually call Scott while I am driving to and from work just so that he can talk to me while I drive. My own personal entertainment. (anytime you wanna talk - just call while I'm in the car - Scott would appreciate the repreive) When things are going great I want to talk to someone, when things are going really bad I want to talk to someone. I was a pretty good kid growing up, but there were a few times I got in trouble (my parents and sister may say more than a few). I still vividly remember in the first grade having tape put on my desk as a threat if I didn't stop talking.

Monday, I had a new experience. I couldn't talk to anyone. Not because no one was around or because no one wanted to talk, but because I realized the only one I could talk to was God. We had our "interview" with the IMB. This was a chance for an IMB representative to get to know us face to face and for us to ask questions. We went into this interview confident we were following God's lead and that we were going to walk away encouraged and excited. It didn't go that way. We were reminded of the seriousness of this process and the changes it was going to require. We were asked a lot of questions. Hurdles were laid out for us, not successes. And then we were told to wait. Whether we move on in this process was put in the hands of the IMB team and we were told that we would hear sometime next week.

We left with such raw emotion that Scott and I couldn't even really talk to each other. I knew there were people wanting to hear how it went, but I couldn't talk to them. For one of the first times in my life I didn't want to talk, at least not to people. I needed to talk to God. It's been almost three days and I have spent a lot of time in converstion with God, two way conversation. He called me into this journey and He is still walking it with me.

He has asked the question - are you willing to walk what you say you believe? Do you believe with more than words that I (God) am greater than any man, organization, or hurdle? Do you believe that I will have my way or do you believe that there are hurdles that are bigger than me? Do you really believe that all things works for the good of those who believe or just some things?

We have no more of an idea today than Monday what will happen next week. This may be the end of this journey, this may be a slow down period, or this may be just a time that God wanted to see who we would turn to when things got rough. Only God knows. But I do know, that through these last three days I have learned that there is no greater friend than God. I know that at those times when you can't describe what you feel or put words to your thoughts, God knows. I know that there is value in silence, because you can hear a lot more when you are quiet than talking. I know that I do believe that God is good and all powerful. I know that God will see us through to accomplish his will, regardless of how we think it may look.

So now we wait. We will wait until next week and see what turns this journey may take. But we will wait knowing that God is trustworthy and caring. He has not taken us this far to leave us. Do we really believe that?