Friendships

If you asked me what was the hardest part of life in a foreign culture I would say it is the lack of relationships.  Oh, I have friends and I have co-workers, but sometimes they are work.  There is the language issue with my native friends and there is the distance issue with most of my co-workers.  I think this is a hard adjustment for anyone who moves to a new culture, but I think I felt it particularly strong because I left a position on a church staff that allowed me to walk the halls of the church on almost any given day and be greeted by many, be stopped for conversation by many, and to always have a phone message or email from someone.  My life was people and relationships at every level.

And then boom - that was gone.  In one fail swoop.  But after 18 months (can you believe we have been here for 18 months already) God has begun to gift those relationships back.  Oh, the language is still an issue, but God has placed 3 very special women in my life that have turned Illescas (where we life) from just our ministry site to home. 

I am not a spontaneous person.  I love to plan my life out to the finest detail.  Spain is a spontaneous culture.  So trust me, I am learning.  I have also learned that I love the spontaneous part of Spanish relationships.

Let me introduce you to my "gifts."

Martha (pronounced Marta) is my neighbor.  She and her family are from Columbia (the country, not SC) and have two children - Laura who is 8 and Daniella who is 5 months.  She has incredible patience with my language and is always full of encouragement.  She is a fellow evangelical believer and we so often are sharing scriptures that have touched our hearts or prayer requests or stories of our faith.  Monday night around 8:00 our phone rang and it was her husband.  A couple days earlier I had mentioned I wanted to learn how to cook platanos.  They were at the the store and saw platanos that were ripe and were calling to see if we could come to dinner on Tuesday night and have platanos.  We had a prior commitment and had to say no.  Immediately they changed the question.  Could we come to dinner tonight (meaning Monday) at 9:00?  Yep - I threw some cookies in the oven and grabbed a soda and she fixed chorizo and platanos and an hour later we were sitting around their table sharing dinner.  It's those phone calls that tug at your heart and remind you that you have roots growing.

Lisa is a Spanish woman who lives one street over.  Her husband works for the Bible Society of Spain in Madrid.  They have 3 children (from 16 to 20).  I haven't been able to spend much time with her, but when language finishes there will be more opportunities. Tonight, as I was sitting at the table recovering from an all day workshop, the button at our gate rang.  I looked out the window and there was Lisa.  She was going for her evening "paseo" (a stroll) and wanted to know if I wanted to join her.  As in right that moment.  Grabbed my sweater and for the next 30 minutes we walked and talked. She speaks English and I have given her permission to correct my Spanish.  She was so full of encouragement.  She asked me if I was ready for our proficiency exam in May.  I asked her what did she think.  She responds "I haven't seen you in a while, but you are so much better!"  Oh what a fabulous gift.  We chatted about our kids.  We chatted about what God is doing in our lives.  We chatted about some struggles.  We walked off a few calories (I wonder if it was enough to eat the last Reese's Easter Egg and come out even?).  It's those door bell sounds that remind you that your house is no longer just a house, but a home and a safe haven.

Maria is a Spanish woman we met through English class (I used to go to English class with my tutor to hear different Spanish accents and to let her students hear a native English speaker).  We became instant friends.  She is pregnant with her first child.  She went to English camp last October with us and since then has been over to our house for dinner and games several times or we have gone out with her for tapas or her birthday celebration.  Scott ran into her the other day and she "suggested" we get together again soon but do it on a weekend because then she could stay later (she leaves for work around 6:30 AM so when we get together on the weeknights she leaves early).  Tonight as I was driving home from Madrid I looked out the window and she was passing me.  She waved and smiled and made me laugh.  I followed her to our exit and as we approached where I would turn off I waved goodbye, but she pulled over and expected that I would do the same.  She got out of her car and opened my door to give me a hug and the Spanish double kiss.  We inquired about how each was doing and then she wanted to know if Scott had told me he saw her and about getting together on a weekend.  I said yes, and in my American mindset was trying to think when do I have a weekend free. She says "so Friday?"  As in two days away.  I explained I am in Madrid every day this week until the same time each day.  So she looks at her watch, says "so, until 6:40.  How about 7:30?"  When Maria is around you laugh and smile and she teaches me crazy Spanish sayings.  Maria and I are friends just because.  No hidden agendas.  She knows that we are evangelical believers and she has clearly expressed that she is not.  She trusts our friendship regardless.  But today, as I was processing the fact that if the world were to end tonight, I would miss her for eternity I was saddened.  There were tears over that realization.  And it is those tears that remind you that we are home. 

Slowly, but surely, God is gifting with new relationships.  Relationships that are unlike any of the relationships I had in NC.  Not better or worse, just different.  And I am extremely greatful.  And it's those realizations that you have friends right around the conrer that remind you that it will all be ok, that you can do it.  Oh how blessed I am!