Won't Find Me In Any Book

Yesterday I had a break from ordinary life and got to spend a couple hours sitting on a park bench chatting and sharing a chocolate Neapolitan (ahh - one of my favorite things in Spain) with a co-worker and friend.  We were sharing the triumphs and the heartaches of our lives during the past couple of weeks.   We were mourning the loss of a common friend and discussing the possibilities of our futures.

Somewhere the conversation turned to some heartaches we had both seen on the mission field and the question arose as to where many get their "picture" of mission work.  Many have a glorified vision of the field, while others see it as an escape from the problems in their homeland, and others believe God must be more present to those serving in foreign fields, and most (including me) have some warped picture.  But where did these ideas come from?  In the end, we decided books.

I love to read the stories of the spiritual warriors that have come and gone before me.  I love to read how men and women gave up everything and moved to the ends of the earth and saw great movements for Christ.  I marvel at the courage of those who boarded a boat, forsaking all that was being left behind, and moved to a forgotten place in the world, knowing their lives would be lost at that moment.  I find encouragement in reading the stories of those who, through serving in the jungle without running water or indoor bathrooms or being imprisoned, grew so close to God that the giving of their lives was a gain.

But you know what, I think those people are the exception.  There isn't much about our life that I would say was glamorous.  There isn't much that I would even say was earth shattering.  Even less, I can't say that I am one of those with the courage to forsake it all (yeah, I moved to Spain and sold all my worldly goods - but I have Internet and re-bought a lot of material things once arriving here).  My life is ordinary.

I don't live in a country without running water or indoor bathrooms (although we don't have air condition and summer is fast approaching).  I don't have to walk miles to the nearest market and I don't fear death for carrying a Bible.  I doubt anyone is ever gonna write a book about my life as a missionary.

But this is reality - there are thousands and thousands who have accepted the privilege of serving Christ in a foreign field.  For most their stories will never be written.  Only a small percentage will face death as a result.  But for the majority of us - reality is still hard at times.

The reality is that this life is tremendously lonely - we left our friends and family and skype just isn't the same.  We have teammates, but our job is not to spend time with our teammates, it is to get to know the nationals.  The nationals all speak a different language.  Last Saturday as I stood at a field day event I was reminded that it is possible to be in a crowd of a couple hundred and feel completely and utterly alone.  Life is hard - even with modern day conveniences.  The processes for everything is different and there are so many unwritten rules to how to do things that we may never figure it all out.  Church, a place where I always found hope, refreshment, and fellowship, is now a place of work - work to just understand what is being said and why something is being done the way it is.

We live in a country where "progress" is slow.  Following Christ comes with a cost and that cost is calculated and considered for long periods before someone is ready to pay the price.

My life isn't glamorous and I am pretty sure it isn't novel worthy, but it is reality.  And most days, I am thankful for the privilege of this reality, but then there are others where I yearn for what has been written in the books I love to read, and if I can't have that - then I just yearn for simple and familiar.