We are asked the same questions repeatedly - are you nervous?  are you excited?  how are the kids?  what are you afraid of?  how long until you come home?  what if you fail?  what if you hate it?  are you sure this is the right thing?  what if your support falls through?  The list goes on.

As departure date is now only 16 days away the emotions range in all extremes and the answers get a little harder.  I follow a blog of a family serving in Guatemala, A Little Elbow Grease, and last week she summed up my biggest fear - being forgotten and alone.  She is writing from the perspective of being on the field already, but we have already found some of it to be true and we haven't left yet, so we know in the deepest parts of our hearts, she has nailed the rest of the picture too.

The days ahead are exciting.  We know we are walking right where we have been asked to walk, yet they are also filled with sadness and a little anxiety.  We know we serve a God that is bigger than anything that we will encounter, yet we also know that the life is not a rose garden.  Please continue to pray for us as we process it all in our own individual ways.

Oh I know, the life of a missionary is shiny, exciting and adventurous. There are full satisfying days of serving, there’s just a hint of danger around each turn, there are the lives that are transformed everywhere we go, there’s spiritual growth shooting out all over the place.…

Yep, that missionary life sure isn’t like “regular ole life”. It’s exciting, it’s exotic, it’s amazing, it’s…….

Really, really tough right now.

Frankly, most days we are downright lonely. Friendships take a long time, and we haven’t found people we’ve connected with.

Daily, adapting to a new culture is challenging. The balancing act of staying ourselves and learning how to fit in here is exhausting!

Sometimes trying to serve is pretty darn discouraging. There is still some ambiguity to our roles, and while God’s timing is perfect, waiting is hard.

Often, it feels like a spiritual desert. We’re still looking for a church.

And, navigating the ministry God has called us to can be just plain confusing.

Wanna trade places??

God is good, we know. God is faithful, we see it. God is providing, daily. God is love…

We know all the answers we’ll hear. We tell ourselves the little pep-talks we’ll get. We’re sure we’re right back into culture shock (4 months in a new culture), and with time it will pass.

But in the meantime, we’re human, we’re flawed and we’re in serious need of love. And yet, we don’t feel like we can even ask for it. Everyone is struggling with things no matter where they live. And most of all, Cool Missionaries don’t get lonesome!

So I will ask for other people. (They are cool missionaries!!)

You see, we aren’t alone in how we feel. We have friends who live in Guatemala as well and they are feeling a bit ‘abandoned’. They are realizing it doesn’t take long to get ‘disconnected’, and are desperate for love too.

~For a phone call to say “we miss you and want to chat”.
~For a Skype call to see a familiar face and get a long-distance hug.
~For their home congregation to intentionally reach out, and send encouragement.
~For someone to ask “REALLY, how are you doing” and offer a shoulder.
~For an invite to a church event just to ‘feel included’.

Matt keeps reminding me, and we shared with these friends as well, that so many of you feel connected to our lives here through the blog. I LOVE that God is using this in the ways He does and I am so thankful for the words that He gives me to write…but the connection doesn’t often go both ways. Someone can read a blog or a newsletter and have the news in our lives. On this end, there is only silence…and that silence is a deafeningly loud reminder that Satan is trying to discourage those on the field in any way he can, and isolation and loneliness are pretty easy ways.

So there it is. I think I’ve been hiding from emails and facebook and even the blog this last while because this isn’t what folks want to read. But, it is where we (and others we know) are at.

Have you hugged your missionary lately? 
Kristy Messick