Today is one of those days where I share that there is no "super Christian" on this side of the blog. I have my moments (and sometimes days) of panic and feel the fear creeping in. There are days where I struggle to find my way to my knees because the task seems overwhelming and I find myself frozen. There are days where the tears flow much more freely than the laughter. There are days I fail to look to Him. There are days I am just plain scared!
This week has been sprinkled with those moments and this morning those feelings just moved right in to my desk (where I was working) and sat there. As I have shared before this process has many steps and lots of timing to be coordinated. I knew about the VISA and partnership timing and I knew about our desire for Hannah to start the school year in Spain, but today that desire was changed to a deadline. High School students must begin by September 15 of the fall semester. Even as I type those words the tears fall - not sad tears, but ones of fear. The "what ifs" fill my mind. The panic feeling begins to creep up (or maybe flood in would be a better description).
Now we are facing a deadline - not a hope or a wish, but a deadline. So what does that mean...
- We must be at 100% in August - we are at a little more than 56%.
- We must get VISAs in time to arrive by September 15.
- We must sell this house.
I know Whom I have believed,
And am persuaded that He is able
To keep that which I've committed
Unto Him against that day
I do know who I believe in, I am persuaded, and I will cling to that. But you know, sometimes that grip is just a little harder.